breakk

This week is going to be quite fun.

Monday- School then Oil Change that comes with a free carwash yeeee

Tuesday- Period 3 Econ Midterm and Packet due im already failing econ and if i dont do those then im screwed. but after gon it up the spots and chill and then dinner with my Wilson

Wednesday- Six Flags & Valencia Mall

Thursday- Family comin, gon watch football, and then chill with the homies sleep early for friday

Friday- 5am South Coast Plaza

meeting new people are just more oppurtunities for people to let you down.

im a pretty negative person.

fuck school
fuck college
fuck ms.thompson
fuck ms. cerda
fuck ms. lee
fuck bitches

fuck it

senior year

TAO

sick

fever
body aches
head aches
sore throat
dizzyness
stomach aches
wtfff twitching

while taking a shower i barfed and it was brown. i ate nothing that was brown.
took me 30 minutes to type all this

i feel so weak

weekend was amazing though.

relapsed

at this point i can say that i am offcially relapsed into some old habits.

stupid?

yeah i guess it is but its fun at the same time.

these people there bad people?

you can say that i guess.

but there actually true friends. some of the people i did think were my true friends i see now that they just know nothing about me. and ive come to the point where i dont really want to deal with their shit. of course there are still some true friends who do try to help me out but there often busy and im not saying like they need to help all the time. but what im actually saying is that i know they have good intentions and that there good people but they got stuff to do and i shouldn't really bother them. and im not hating on them or anything too.

this gives me more time to chill with some of the homies and have some fun rather chilling with some people where i have to watch my language even its just like shit, or watch i talk about cuz if i say a girl is pretty there like oh lets change the subject, or the music i listen to is rap or stuff then its bad. chilling with some of the homies is where we can do whatever we want to do. and tats all there is to it.

i think the term friend has become such a vague term in today's society. the definition of acquaintance has taken the spot of the actually definition of friend.

welcome to the relapse fckkkk

Confused...

i dont know how to explain all this some im going to just say it.

i dont know if you read my first wallpost about my whole past life thing. and thats is now the past as well. when i was like that i want people to knwo that it wasnt just a phase but that it actually was real. but my relationship God isnt what it used to be. and to be honest i dont think it will ever be that strong unless something or someone continually helps me with it. someone that isnt like kevin chun or david cho or people who i already know have extremely good intentions from the start.

PBC the church ive going too at first seem like the church for me. before that the past 3 years i went to 5 different churches. and for some reason i think its going to 4 years 6th church coming. what i thought was diffrent was just the same. clicks everywhere, trash talking, fake people. whatever it was Church has been a reason that my relationship has gone down. the whole atmosphere i get there has just been a big nawww.

people as well. some are strong Christians and i really do like that they can be able to do that. but at the same time they strive so much to be strong christian that they just do it for themselves. sure they may helping others but its like hey im being a good person. and the ones that are a strong Christian at church but when it comes to the real world are just totally different. i really dont get it.

i feel like im also receiving so much unesscesary stress. with my parents thinking im some kind of angel. whenever im doing something people telling me i thought you were a christian. well then obviosuly im not a perfect christian no one is. and with college stuff going on its stress i really dont need on my back.

so i really dont know what to do. ive been going to church to show respect to God and that i really do beleive in him. but even that is hard to with sermons saying how much hes doesnt like how we are. so i dunno.

with my at the moment. just living life and chilling its been nice not really having to stress about it.

i just hope it works out

payce

AHHH

I HATE HOW YOU ACT LIKE A BITCH BUT YOU DONT EVEN NOTICE IT
PISSES ME OFF

well well

its been forever

and by now school has started and its been pretty chill so far.

and im trying to do well in school but i dont know why i am because i already fucked up enough earlier. who am i kidding that some college is gonna want me to represent them?

ive been living in denial about all this shit and just making myself stress about it for no reason.

as of now.
i am done with school.
community college
am i gonna like it? who knows who cares
tats later in the future but right now im just gonna go out there and just have some fun with the homies and just let loose.

and some people gotta grow up. pmo

its been chill

just kicking it with some friends that i havent chilled with in a while showed me again how me and there were so tight at one point while i was in high school. they judge alot less.

as well as chilling with someone who i seem to be chilling alot with because the trust is all their and she doesnt look at my past but looks to help me out with my future and its always chill with her. i look forward to the future that our friendship has in store for us

along with another friend who i continue to grow closer and closer with everytime i have a conversation with her. someone who im blessed to have as friend.

this one is someone who lately we havent been talking as much but i really do care for her and do pray for her daily. i hope that she knows that i dont judge her ever and that if she needs to talk im there for her.

this one are a couple of people. although it seems like we're all close with each other in reality eveyone is close with each other except me. trust is not there. but i hope it works out.

just relaxinggg drinking some 99 cents iced tea with a couple of old homies. chilling at the mall with one of my besties. experiencing how mass is for the first time. jajangmyun. and of course

copping the blueprint 3
who said hiphop is dead, its being reserected with the best coming back and dropping albums. and some of the rooks in the game bringing there A-game as well makes music one of my medicine when im just down in the dumps.

from paper trail, to blueprint 3, relapse, man on the moon, LAX
classics like eminem show, the blueprint, late registration

lookin forward to ponyo with joan
ears with ang
school
nfl season
nba2k10
nba season

confused

two sides

which one?

summers going away

summer is coming to a close and my last year of high school is right around the corner, they big year where im not along a minor and now considered an adult.
this summer alot of things happened. and right now i try to be as optimistic as i can with how my life is moving along. optimism gets me through most of the day but there comes in the point of the day where i just wanna crack. maybe its because i cant tell some of the people who i think im closest with some of my secrets. if there close to me then it shouldnt be that hard right? but i dunno what would become of our friendship after they find out.

this summer i learned that not everybody is not perfect. but im totally fine with that because i see that some people who i thought would not understand may actually feel what im feeling sometimes.

i also learned that people who you think you are close with can turn out to be all fake when it comes to the friendship. times when i thought we were having fun this person was just doing it for something else.

also there are such things as oneway friendships where you might be like the tissue if you know what im saying.

but ive also found some people who i come to trust and who do not judge for what ive done in the past. they look past it all and help not fall back as i go into the future.

summer list still
-saturday- joan chillin?
-sunday- catherine y yoon :)
-monday-TBA
-tuesday- joan and yukari
-wednesday-NRB?!
-thursday-EARS?!
-friday-SHARON B
-saturday-TBD
-sunday- dunno

ohh myy goodness

not a good day of driving today crazy moments. so we finished eating at in n out and i was dropping off david cho. so i made a left turn to get out of the plaza and i started going straight towards sepulveda. on the way there i didnt see this one red light and i was bout to go right passd it when David yelled to me its a red light and i just step on the breaks and burn some of the rubber off on my tire it was pretty crazy. and after dropping off david we were heading to my house and i almost ran over a cat. not good at allllll

TOMOROW- going to shawns house with Angela and maybe Diana.
Wednesday- Chilling with my Jakyo after registration

gon be SICKKK SON

its nice

tuesday i hung out with some friends that i havent chilled with in a while and i must say it was really. one of the best chillin days. ever since i got my liscense and a car for me its really hard to tell if they want to chill with me cuz they want to chill with me or cuz they got more than five people and they need a car. but tuesday was straight up just chilling and it was really fun.

eating/taking pictures/recording videos/looking at dogs/getting drinks/more dogs/renting movie/sleeping/talking/laughing

i know when its a chill day when i am driving and my care for how much gas i got in my tank seems to go away and im way less paranoid if im out of gas or not. i mean of course i still care but im not like oh no we cant go ther cuz my gas but im down to go there even if my gas maybe low. those are the chill days that make summer fun, the days where the amount of gas in my car dont seem to matter as much when im hanging out with some people and every place where they go i seem to check my gas every five minutse too see if i have enough.

and today i visited my close friend at work who i havent seen in a very long time. it just seeing her made me smile. it was just realy good to see her and sad because it had to be just for a short period of time. days like this is what leads to chill days

i still need to-
-hit up six flags
-chill with sarah song
-chill with jenny park
-get my ears done
-do sumthin to my hair
-desserts with liz
-hit up mccullen drive

i dunno haha

what i see

i am the kind of person that messes up alot. sometimes i dont think things through. and my grades arnt as good as some of the people i know. and as a Christian i continue to sturggle in many many many ways.

the people i usually hangout with seem to be the opposite of me. where the grade part doesnt really bother as me much when im around them. one thing that sticks out to me is how close some of them are to God and how good they seem to be at keeping there faith strong. while I on the other hand always falls into the trap that the devil keeps laying down on me. and because i struggle and the people that im around seem to be doing so well with there faith i feel smaller than them. i feel like im not as good as them or that im not as well rounded as a person than they are.

atleast thats what i thought. it wasnt until a couple days ago in the shower when i felt like crap and was just thinking( and yes i like to think in the shower when im angry it cools me down) about everything. why do i feel so much smaller than some of the people. i mean sure they have there ups but they most definately have there downs as well. as do i do i. i always felt smaller than them because i guess they participated more with church or something like that. and because of that i felt smaller. but then i see how much there also messing up and frankly not doing anything to help the situations and all of a sudden that feeling i have goes away. as well as the way they act when they around other people. when there around important people such as a teacher, pastor, or someone of authority then of course they follow the rules. but for me its like if its cool its cool and when i try to do it when the people of authority are around then these people get all "what are you doing? your not allowed to do that" but as soon its all done then they'll end up doing same thing when the authorty is not around. wat the hell right? because to me i always act like such a fake Christian and i know that and im trying to put more of an effort into becoming a better person obviously its not going so well for me but i dont put on a show because i do need help in becoming a better christian and i dont want to put on a shower in front of the people of authory at church or act different with my Christians because its not gonna do anything if i pretend that im just doing oh so dandy in my spiritual life. alot of the people around me are the so calld real ones i guess the ones i should look up to when it comes to Christians in the world today but in reality there just the same as me cept there just more in to church and do more activities than i do but still it all seems the same to me not matter how much you can do. it all leaks out. all a damn show





lates

wow

its crazy how going to a camp can change someone and make them completely into Christ

its also crazy how fast it can disapear too and theyll turn back into tat same person that they were before the camp.

having a car

has its up

but most definately has its downs that FUCKING PISS ME OFF

1.
i say to myself that its a mistake
and i keep going at it till it slaps me in the face
by that time its already way too late
im out im gone i lost this race



2.
friends or fakes i dont really know
cuz it seems like whe there bored they come to my home
and when there not they go and there do there own thing
and they think that they really know me
but really its just a show that they just see
so just go and do yall own things
ill just stick with apples and just sing

3.
i always looked up to you like your my big bro
but you did stuff and didnt even let me know
how am i suppose too look up to that?
your a fake a phony you peice of crap

4.
to me you were like a tax collector just taking money
and i fell for it all the time how did you get to me
looks?attitude? watever it was
im over it now you skank your wack? seeing you do it to other guys is hilarious

5.
you got so much shit going on. so all are talks are always bout you
when it comes my shit you got somthin to do
im there whenever you happen to be in a bad mood
but your always gone when i got sumthin goin on too
are you problems that big that it makes mine worthless
to you i guess it, do i really deserve this?

fuck summer

going to summer school

makes me want to study harder during the school year

good for me i guess

but there are some cuties at summer school XD

beautifull

Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everyone has a private world
Where they can be alone
Are you calling me, are you trying to get through
Are you reaching out for me, and I'm reaching out for you

I'm just so fuckin' depressed
I just can seem to get out this slump
If I could just get over this hump
But I need something to pull me out this dump
I took my bruises, took my lumps
Fell down and I got right back up
But I need that spark to get psyched back up
In order for me to pick that mic back up
I don't know how I pry away
And I ended up in this position I'm in
I starting to feel distant again
So I decided just to pick this pen
Up and tried to make an attempt to vent
But I just can't admit
Or come to grips, with the fact that
I may be done with rap
I need a new outlet
I know some shits so hard to swallow
And I just can't sit back and wallow
In my own sorrow
But I know one fact
I'll be one tough act to follow
One tough act to follow
Copy
One tough act to follow
Here today, gone tomorrow
But you have to walk a thousand miles

Chorus
Walk my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
All be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what I'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's mind
Just to see what we find
Look at shit through each other's eyes

But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fucked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo
Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fucked. Just stay true to you

I think I'm starting to lose my sense of humor
Everything is so tense and gloom
I almost feel like I gotta check the temperature in the room
Just as soon as I walk in
It's like all eyes on me
So I try to avoid any eye contact
Cause if I do that then it opens a door to conversation
Like I want that...
I'm not looking for extra attention
I just want to be just like you
Blend in with the rest of the room
Maybe just point me to the closest restroom
I don't need fucking man servin'
Tryin to follow me around, and wipe my ass
Laugh at every single joke I crack
And half of them ain't even funny like that
Ahh Marshall, you're so funny man, you should be a comedian, god damn
Unfortunately I am, but I just hide behind the tears of a clown
So why don't you all sit down
Listen to the tale I'm about to tell
Hell, we don't have to trade our shoes
And you don't have to walk no thousand miles

Chorus
Walk my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
All be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what I'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's mind
Just to see what we find
Look at shit through each other's eyes

But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fucked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo
Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fucked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo

Nobody asked for life to deal us
With these bullshit hands with doubt
We have to take these cards ourselves
And flip them, don't expect no help
Now I could have either just
Sat on my ass and pissed and moaned
But take this situation in which I'm placed in
And get up and get my own
I was never the type of kid
To wait but I know to unpack his bags
Never sat on the porch and hoped and prayed
For a dad to show up who never did
I just wanted to fit in
Every single place
Every school I went
I dreamed of being that cool kid
Even if it meant acting stupid
Aunt Edna always told me
Keep making that face till it gets stuck like that
Meanwhile I'm just standing there
Holding my tongue up trying to talk like this
Till I stuck my tungue on the frozen stop sign poll at 8 years old
I learned my lesson and cause I wasn't tryin to impress my friends no more
But I already told you my whole life story
Not just based on my description
Cause where you see it from where you're sitting
Is probably 110% different
I guess we would have to walk a mile
In each other's shoes, at least
What size you where?
I wear tens
Let's see if you can fit your feet

Chorus
Walk my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
All be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what I'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's mind
Just to see what we find
Look at shit through each other's eyes

But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fucked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo
Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fucked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo

Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everyone has a private world
Where they can be alone... sOoOoo
Are you calling me, are you trying to get through OoOo
Are you reaching out for me, and I'm reaching out for you sOoOoo Oo Oo

Yea... To my babies. Stay strong. Daddy will be soon
And to the rest of the world, god gave you the shoes
That fit you, so put em on and wear em
And be yourself man, be proud of who you are
Even if it sounds corny,
Don't ever let no one tell you, you ain't beautiful

David Choi- Hold On

You fought your way up to the wall
But you haven't gone past at all
While gazing with tear filled eyes
You just can't help but ask why

If trying hard is what it takes
Then why does it feel like a mistake?
The world has taken its side
You just wanna run away and hide

It's tough, there's no one to turn to
I hear screaming inside you
Feels like hell's all you've been through
Hell's all you've been through

Hold on
Don't stop your breathing
I see your dreams and I feel them too
Hold on
Don't lose your faith
I know you can't break
I'm hoping and praying for you

All your peace seems far away
But you know there comes a day
When everything's so bright
All the darkness you feel subsides

And in the rising of the sun
You can finally say it's done
The world will take your side
And your heart will start to shine

I will be holding onto you
There is nothing you can't do
I will try to be strong
Will try to be strong

Hold on
Don't stop your breathing
I see your dreams and I feel them too
Hold on
Don't lose your faith
I know you can't break
I'm hoping and waiting for you

Wowzers

its crazy how much one week can affect your spiritual life. I've been good with God but after the month of February i realized how much i depend on Sundays, Fridays, POP21 to help me get closer with God because this month of February i strayed from God. It wasnt until near the end of the month when i actually realized what ive been doing. We were playing basketball and after had a prayer night and it helped me in so many ways. This year im really i got close with Shawn and Joe because theyve become like an older brother to me. A brother that watches out for me and makes sure i dont do any stupid stuff. The past few days have been much better spirutally reading the bible more praying more. everythings been really good.

Which leads to the fun saturday.
yesterday were the SATs ughhh yeahhh. sitting in a chair for 4 hours were not so fun and it doesnt help that my knees were killing me and i was still sick. after it was the PBC vs. GGC game with PBC winning the first series 2 games to none it sure was funn. then we made our Korean project its pretty good not gonna talk to much about it cuz your gonna have to watch it. Coming to Youtube soon itll be funn. After the Video we went to nrb AGAINNN. hahaha soo funn. justin sang a song this time. me and joe sang I Beleive I Can Fly yessirrr.

its sunday now
desciple ship class
:D
church

goodbye beautifuls

relapse

hahaha

i want some in my system

geeeeez

short weeks of school always seem so longggggggggggg

alot of stuff happened

thank you God even though it took a longggggggggggggggggg time to realize what i was doing and how stupid i was being. its goes back so long agoo to those purity prayers we did on friday service when i was all for it to focus on God then she came along and tat just all went away. if i look back on it boy was i stupid ditching God for HER?! WAT THE EFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

so many things were shot at me. wilsons purity sermon, kevins purty prayer time again, six flags the true love waits rally, and the sermon the next day, so many things. even little things like in tv shows when the couple breaks up all those things were shot at me but i just avoided it and it was wednesday when it hit me. frikkin girls the biggest trap when it comes to trying to get close to God.

not such a great week. schools been rough, that bs between that beezy, my parents, some other stuff, and i just found out my grandma went to the emergency room and isnt doin well

pray for her please
atleast her forget all my little crap

thanks

Singing to Valentines Day banquets at Six Flags while gettng stomped on but still chill

six flags was sick.
Valentines day banquet was sickkk
sundays sermon was sickkkkk
true love waits rally was sickkkk
getting stomped in 2k not so sickkkk
getting stomped on fo real not so sickkk

4-2 i win still

friday-after school got my xbox back we played lips the whole time.ohhh myyy frikkin Jinju is soooo goooooooood at it i shouldnt be suprised though only way i can beat her in Lips is the game we;re playing the only way i can beat her in it by playing a manly song . after our sing a thon. i went to a valentines day banquet at Ericas church and it was realllllllll nice. super cute with the whole girls serving everyone and escorting the guys to the tables haha. and my waitress was the best and the prettiest duhhh even though she dropped food on peter, gave him a used fork, and was gone most of the time. hahaha. there youth ministry definately had alot of love for each other which made it real nice with all the good vibrations. and the lil wonder girls dance was cute too hahaha. after i got home we Gunbounded it up fasho haha i was rockin itt
fun fun fun





saturday on valentines day went to six flags for the True Love Waits rally which was sickkk. i drove to church and went 75 on local cuz im speed racer and im cool. haha sikee i went 75 and my mom started to FREAK OUT so for her own safety i went 35 the whole time turtle status? right. on the trip to six flags i actually had a real big fear of roller coaster. big big big big. and i tried to cover it up haha. we rodee the pbc van and it was uncomfortableeeeeeeee stuffing me buck justin and ub in the back ughhhh. soon as we got there we had two hours to ride rides before the rally and during the span we rode one ride -_-. but i thought we rode the best ride. X2 it was titeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. laying down and spinning around around around around haha. Golieath was fun too specially in the front seat with jaemoMoney screaming our buts off hahaha. too me tatsu was a big bust. and the corn was bombbbbbbbbbbbbbbb. and teh funnel cake dang. do not eat three of those or youll not feel happy for a while. bus ride was comfortable food coma haha. played 2k in it lost oee won one.





Sunday- Went to church and the sermon was by guest speaker pastor lance. about love.i really liked it all about how the greatest commandment that God gave us is to love with him with all our soul, heart, and mind. and we tend to love others stuff or people more than him or as the same as him. after church went yellow basket rolled with the classics and then chilled with Jeanne and PBC basketball game where we got rocked pretty bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. after that 2k 2k 2k won twice both by twenty. watched game tape at my house with Jimmy Hyung, kris , and jae. funny stuf that is.



today was just relaxing and just do nothing but sleep.woke up eight chatted with jimmy hyung. played some gunbound with justing and then jae and him came over. i got rocked by jae in 2k then i beat justin. after SLEPT then drove around cuz i can :) didnt go 75 though cuz safety comes first.



weekends are nice expecially if there three days.
too bad theres not one this week.
i need a hair cut for real.




MORE FUN THAN GOING TO SOME Y&G JUNK
YA DIGG? :D
politicall shieet who cares

weekends

the past few weekends have been pretty sickkkk.

the weekend after finals was fun. this weekend was fun. and next weekend is gonna be tite too i can tell.

last weekend was the weekend after finals and finals week was pretty relaxing for me cuz all of grades were basically set in my classes if i did bad or good in the final my grade would still be the same so i really didnt stress about anything. so i just chiled alotttt. last day of finals on thursday i left school early with big ben and we got a burrito at steves and watched tv. then i got a new ipod 120 gig for free as a replacement cuz of 30 gig was completely dead forever. then played ball at lago after. friday i dont really remember i think it was like monkey ball and stuff like that and  then GCC and i got hawaiin delite yogurt which is better than pomgrenate pinkberry. saturday basketball again :). sunday was the superbowl party at my house and the game was better than i thought it would bee dayummm Fitzgerald.

this weekend friday was birthdaty dinner for me and kev. it was quite fun then i just knocked out after and watched pineapple express. saturday was another bday dinner with my family tats it. and sunday church:) wilsons sermon really got to me. ball game after we lost by five cuz i wasnt on the floor. then today was tite i went to shobes house and we sang our butts of playing LIPS.

next weekend ALLSTAR WEEKEND

rookies vs. sophmore

unfortunately im gonna miss saturdays dunk contest skills and 3point because im goin to SIX FLAGS  wiht church. even though im scared of rollercoasters. and sunday all star game

money no school :D

PEACE 

"Im a Failure"- haters

everyone has those kinds of weeks when everything just seems to suck. well this week was one of those kinds of weeks. since im a junior and next year is all about getting into college my parents are stressing more than i am. im honestly trying to  relax and get what i have to get done for school right now done so that i dont get behind. everyone been getting on my case. 

alot of people have been telling me:

"alex your not gonna make it into a good school"

"can you use your brain"

"i dont think you should do this class your just gonna fail"

"even if you do it your not gonna go anywhere with it"

"hahaha your taking that  (whatever class im taking) YOU?!"

"did you do your hw? dont answer i already know"

"i dont think Alex should continue on with the class hes not goin to be able to keep up"

it goes on and on and on and on

from my friends saying it in a joking way not knowing how much it effects me, teachers saying it behind my back, tutors saying it to my face, and sometimes my parents.

at first i didnt think any of it but now it just pisses me off and ive been getting alot tat SHIT this week. and i almst lost it went insane. and to make this week even better while driving i hit something and it really pissed me off that i did such a dumb thing so i tried covering it up by joking around that i did. and my knee is starting to hurt alot more sometimes its just hard to walk nowadays. i also decided that i shouldnt really get close close close with a girl that it might grow into something but as soon as i decided she came onto me stronger and me being that kind of guy got blinded by her and fell into it. and of course all this talk about how im a failure.

and i did accept the fact this week. im a failure, im not got get in anywhere good like some of the smart people at school. so i decided wats the point DGAF right? yupp thats wat i decided to do. i screwed up so much in the past that i can get out of this hole i fell into.

accepting that made me crazy this week. i would go to school be just fine cuz i didnt want it to seem like "oh hes doin all that so people will ask him whats wrong when its really nothing" so im just fine after school im just fine. when i get home to my family im just fine. when i go to my room im a wreck. cuz i dont know to me its tiring being "just fine" on AIM i would be just fine. i was a wreck punching the walls in the shower. sitting in the dark.

i was sitting in the dark thursday around one AM. and i did something i havent done alot that week. i prayed and i prayed and i prayed and i prayed. and it felt good.

i shouldnt let these people bring me down but instead let them motivate me into doing better. Joan actually told me this but i didnt want to beleive it. but after praying it just got me to beleive it. 

all those people telling me i cant do it and i cant make it anywhere i just want to thank all you FRIKKIN JERKS cuz thanks to you imma go out and make it.

"bit**** hating again thats music to my ears.

  what you think my fuel was for all of these years"

                          

                                          -Kanye West(when he rapped not sang)

lets go

the deal

after Pop 21 every day i walk with ERKA too our fifth period classes and usually when we walk there we talk about the most randomest things every for example:

her dreams

what if she had no eyes

her dreams

her knock knock jokes -_-

her dreams

she has some weird dreams 

we talk and then we dodge the evil seagulls and pigoens that snack on the leftover lunches people leave out on the floor after lunch because there will come a day when it poops and land on one of us. we're trying to prevent that.

today while walking we did the usually hows life? question

then she told me randomly just told me to not go online on myspace and facebook or anything tat'll entertain me like AIM and we should use all that time to get closer with God. and i really liked that idea and she told me how shes been doin it.

so yupp

this is going to be my last post for my little number of readers.

of except sundays

sundays is the "break" day

lates

feel free to join in

im like the denver nuggets

its been a while since i wrote and people are already done with this. too lazy to writ stuff i guess.

if you know me youll know that im a fan of the denver nuggets probably the biggest fan you know, probably the biggest fan at west, and probably the biggest fan in torrance.

yes you can say im crazy about them whatever.

but i thought about all the things the nuggets are going and in a way its kind of similar to my life. this might sound stupid but its true.

ill start off at freshamn year when the nuggets were just an average team usually the sixth seventh or eighth best team in the western cofrence. They werent title contenders but they were still a decent team that opponents had to play hard against. i was just a freshman at West and i wasnt the smartest person and things were alright it but it can be better.

back to the nuggets

as the season went on things did not look so good. If anyone watches sports they probably saw the embarassing Madison Square Garden brawl when carmeo punched someone and ran away(tat dispointed me) that he would punch someone and that he would punch someone and runaway. the point is everything sucked since the captiain just got suspened 30 games(suspended means they can play for 30 games for the non basketball people)

back to me

distractions on every corner and first quarter ended and i was failing in 3 classes. yupp

back to the nuggets

OMGG ALLEN IVERSON JUST GOT TRADED TO THE NUGGETS. all of a sudden things started to look so good for us. especially since we lost carmelo for 30 games we got one of the best players to ever play on our team. things were looking good for us. sure we made the playoffs and had to play the spurs. nuggets took homecourt and lost it soon later and were eliminated

back to me

i raised my grades for all classes cept one so i had sitll had summer school. whoop de doo

back to the nuggets

new season. clean slate and with iverson and melo from the begining. it was perfect expectations were soooooo high. but nope other teams all of sudden started too good and the even with the nuggets winning 50 wins it was just the eight seed that was giving to them. ughhh and we played the lakers got swept.

back to me

sophmore year another year when i said IM GONNA DO GOOD. i did okay not what i expected, expected better. and yes i got another year of summer school cuz of that one class -_-

back to the nuggets

another new year. things arnt looking so great since the iverson and carmelo thing which seemed so perfect at first now seems like itll hav the same result as last year. traded away our best defensive player for nothing. can it get anyworse?

back to me

junior year. not so good. i expected bad things actually. got involved in some stuff was willing to do some stuff. yah it was not looking great for me.

back to the nuggets

3 games in to the season IVERSON IS TRADED FOR CHAUNCEY. things are looking good. and have been good. the nuggets right now are 25-12 virtaully tied for second in the western confrence

back to me

with the help of God and friends things are looking up. im done with messing around and im focused on whats important in my life and whats not 

:]