another day

fuck school
fuck college
fuck it

Spring Break day 2

that was yesterday.
easter sundayy or hide a egg day whatever.

basically just a bummin day.

just posted it and hit some threes LOL

Spring bReak day one

the first saturday of spring break was just chill. nothing was really planned out on all things i did it kinda just happened. in the morning cheryne wakes me up saying she wants to chill and we wanted one more person to go so then we go to angelas house without even know if shes there or not because her phone is dead. luckily she was there because she missed her SAT class. Then we end up going to Santa Monica and it was just a chill time. It was windy as fuck there. We ate a bubba gump, Cafe Crepe i think, and Famima. All the waitresses were being assholes because we didnt order too much food, bitches. After i chilled with arthur and ryan posted it at the Hookah bar for a while watching the michael jackson concert and then me and arthur decided to go to the mall to see if there were people to chill with but there was none so we decided to just go but on the way back one of the doors to the movie theater was open so we snuck and saw Hot Tub Time Machine for free. Funny shitttt.

happy easter. dont think imma go to church.
one love

what to do today

The Present

It's already April basically of 2010. Wow time is going by insanely fast and i still don't know where I'm going to go next year. While my mindset was just on goin to El Camino and transfer rather than go to some random ass college, now I wouldnt mind going to one of those random colleges. Humboldt State wtff right? Channel Island lol. At first I was pretty set on going to Humboldt State not because of the location or education status but because of the things I'll be able to do outside of the classrooms there.

Even still no matter where I'm going to end up next year I am pretty excited. But for now its all about sennior year and chillin with the homies and other people who i wont be seeing much of and making the most of every chance.

Last Spring Break of grade school and like winter break im ready to have the best one. Im pretty sure it wont be better than spring break because of the length and during winter break i went to TAO with the homies but whatever happens in spring break will be tight.

and then just like that graduation will come. shiettt

Funny

that little music player i got on the left.

were filled with hip-hop/rap songs but they all got deleted from the player from the site where i get it from and the song that happens to be the starting song now is a Christian song

winter break

Dear winter break

my last winter break of high school and you sure did make a big impression. I can easily say that this was the best winter break of life so far. Hopefully in college ill have better ones. I just want to start of with the kickbacks and the chill days with the homies is always even when we do nothing and just make lip sync videos and make some noise. and always chillin with the north girls is always fun too. i wanna thank you for the macbook that has come in handy in so many ways during this break. with the webcam and the wi-fi we were able to accoplish so many. i wanna thank you for the two flat tires in the same week so i can learn how to fix it. and making one of the flat tires on the freeway makng me fear my own life while fixing on the side of the free with cars dashing by me at 80 mph and for high way patrol making sure i knew it was flat but not carding me. for all the green trees you gave me and my homies. and for the liquid substancse we consumed thanks break. and for making me drive through compton and go local from cerritos to torrance due that same flat tire. loll it was a fun a drive though thanks to that same macbook. for making me smarter when it comes to the girl i like thanks mang. and of course the best new years of my entire life. Together As One 2009 where i became best friends with so many people there just yelling happy new years and 100s of people just joining me in it. For the fifteen new years kisses and the freak dances while Guetta kaskade and schulz did there thing on the turntbles. and almost getting dehydrating from dancing. it was all worth it.
2009 did its thing. it was fun

2010 is gon be better i can just tell.
ive never been this excited for a new year
lets go
tear shit up

Untitled

When I first met you i thought you were the shit
But now that I know you, you aint even half of it
I should've listened to what my homies told me
I feel so dumb. should've seen this shit coming
And now I'm sitting here feeling like a dummy
Cuz i wasted all this time gas and money
For dumb bitch who was just using me
I was blinded by looks how could I not see
That i was being played like a game
Was that your number one aim?
To make me go crazy to make me go insane
Make me think about you day after day
Well it worked, now do me a favor please go away
Cuz now Im moving on with my life
Looking towards the bright side seeing the new lights
And i know imma be alright

Chorus:
Girls always with there special gifts
make guys always wanna go ape shit
then they drop em like theres nothin to it
messed up those damn bitches
but there gonna be one girl in our life
gonna make us feel like were the perfect guy
until then just open your eyes
it gon be aightt

Verse 2
I look back I dont know what I saw
dont know how your face made me drop my jaw
to be honestly honest you aint even that beautiful
dont why when i talked to you my word would stumble
Damn how did this allhappen
one moment i feel in love the next i question
why are you really here?
just wanna give me more tears?
i guess things just arnt the way they appear
and i know it for a fact
cuz in the begining i thought you were all that
thought you and me would be a perfect match
but i guess you can blame it on destin
that you and i were never meant to be
but IDGAF ill just stick to my beats
and call that girl on my street Bitch

Chorus

Verse 3
See now im keeping my head up
cuz i know the people who i can trust
when looking for a girl going through pain is must
and if one doesnt work out dont think your out of luck
all you gotta do is get back up
and continue to keep on moving
and soon enough you gon see another lady
and she gon drive you reall crazy
who knows she might even be your next baby
and if it dont work dont think your done
just go out there and have some fun
and eventually you gon get some
trust it its gonna come

Chorus

Damn

I really dont get you sometimes. Sometimes i feel like you and me are like the perfect combination and we always get along. Other times your such a bitch and i feel like i just want to shake the shit out of you. The thing is Im always nice to you, Im always there for you if you get in trouble or if something comes up but your not. I feel like i do so much work to keep our friendship going but still you just take it all for granted. And i dont think you really know this but it does effect me alot when you treat me like shit. It effects me alot more when you do it than when other girls do it because your definately not like other girls. I dont get it. If its something i did i really wish you talk to me about it instead of just giving me attitude and shit because that wont solve anything. I miss you very much<3

breakk

This week is going to be quite fun.

Monday- School then Oil Change that comes with a free carwash yeeee

Tuesday- Period 3 Econ Midterm and Packet due im already failing econ and if i dont do those then im screwed. but after gon it up the spots and chill and then dinner with my Wilson

Wednesday- Six Flags & Valencia Mall

Thursday- Family comin, gon watch football, and then chill with the homies sleep early for friday

Friday- 5am South Coast Plaza

meeting new people are just more oppurtunities for people to let you down.

im a pretty negative person.

fuck school
fuck college
fuck ms.thompson
fuck ms. cerda
fuck ms. lee
fuck bitches

fuck it

senior year

TAO

sick

fever
body aches
head aches
sore throat
dizzyness
stomach aches
wtfff twitching

while taking a shower i barfed and it was brown. i ate nothing that was brown.
took me 30 minutes to type all this

i feel so weak

weekend was amazing though.

relapsed

at this point i can say that i am offcially relapsed into some old habits.

stupid?

yeah i guess it is but its fun at the same time.

these people there bad people?

you can say that i guess.

but there actually true friends. some of the people i did think were my true friends i see now that they just know nothing about me. and ive come to the point where i dont really want to deal with their shit. of course there are still some true friends who do try to help me out but there often busy and im not saying like they need to help all the time. but what im actually saying is that i know they have good intentions and that there good people but they got stuff to do and i shouldn't really bother them. and im not hating on them or anything too.

this gives me more time to chill with some of the homies and have some fun rather chilling with some people where i have to watch my language even its just like shit, or watch i talk about cuz if i say a girl is pretty there like oh lets change the subject, or the music i listen to is rap or stuff then its bad. chilling with some of the homies is where we can do whatever we want to do. and tats all there is to it.

i think the term friend has become such a vague term in today's society. the definition of acquaintance has taken the spot of the actually definition of friend.

welcome to the relapse fckkkk

Confused...

i dont know how to explain all this some im going to just say it.

i dont know if you read my first wallpost about my whole past life thing. and thats is now the past as well. when i was like that i want people to knwo that it wasnt just a phase but that it actually was real. but my relationship God isnt what it used to be. and to be honest i dont think it will ever be that strong unless something or someone continually helps me with it. someone that isnt like kevin chun or david cho or people who i already know have extremely good intentions from the start.

PBC the church ive going too at first seem like the church for me. before that the past 3 years i went to 5 different churches. and for some reason i think its going to 4 years 6th church coming. what i thought was diffrent was just the same. clicks everywhere, trash talking, fake people. whatever it was Church has been a reason that my relationship has gone down. the whole atmosphere i get there has just been a big nawww.

people as well. some are strong Christians and i really do like that they can be able to do that. but at the same time they strive so much to be strong christian that they just do it for themselves. sure they may helping others but its like hey im being a good person. and the ones that are a strong Christian at church but when it comes to the real world are just totally different. i really dont get it.

i feel like im also receiving so much unesscesary stress. with my parents thinking im some kind of angel. whenever im doing something people telling me i thought you were a christian. well then obviosuly im not a perfect christian no one is. and with college stuff going on its stress i really dont need on my back.

so i really dont know what to do. ive been going to church to show respect to God and that i really do beleive in him. but even that is hard to with sermons saying how much hes doesnt like how we are. so i dunno.

with my at the moment. just living life and chilling its been nice not really having to stress about it.

i just hope it works out

payce

AHHH

I HATE HOW YOU ACT LIKE A BITCH BUT YOU DONT EVEN NOTICE IT
PISSES ME OFF

well well

its been forever

and by now school has started and its been pretty chill so far.

and im trying to do well in school but i dont know why i am because i already fucked up enough earlier. who am i kidding that some college is gonna want me to represent them?

ive been living in denial about all this shit and just making myself stress about it for no reason.

as of now.
i am done with school.
community college
am i gonna like it? who knows who cares
tats later in the future but right now im just gonna go out there and just have some fun with the homies and just let loose.

and some people gotta grow up. pmo

its been chill

just kicking it with some friends that i havent chilled with in a while showed me again how me and there were so tight at one point while i was in high school. they judge alot less.

as well as chilling with someone who i seem to be chilling alot with because the trust is all their and she doesnt look at my past but looks to help me out with my future and its always chill with her. i look forward to the future that our friendship has in store for us

along with another friend who i continue to grow closer and closer with everytime i have a conversation with her. someone who im blessed to have as friend.

this one is someone who lately we havent been talking as much but i really do care for her and do pray for her daily. i hope that she knows that i dont judge her ever and that if she needs to talk im there for her.

this one are a couple of people. although it seems like we're all close with each other in reality eveyone is close with each other except me. trust is not there. but i hope it works out.

just relaxinggg drinking some 99 cents iced tea with a couple of old homies. chilling at the mall with one of my besties. experiencing how mass is for the first time. jajangmyun. and of course

copping the blueprint 3
who said hiphop is dead, its being reserected with the best coming back and dropping albums. and some of the rooks in the game bringing there A-game as well makes music one of my medicine when im just down in the dumps.

from paper trail, to blueprint 3, relapse, man on the moon, LAX
classics like eminem show, the blueprint, late registration

lookin forward to ponyo with joan
ears with ang
school
nfl season
nba2k10
nba season

confused

two sides

which one?

summers going away

summer is coming to a close and my last year of high school is right around the corner, they big year where im not along a minor and now considered an adult.
this summer alot of things happened. and right now i try to be as optimistic as i can with how my life is moving along. optimism gets me through most of the day but there comes in the point of the day where i just wanna crack. maybe its because i cant tell some of the people who i think im closest with some of my secrets. if there close to me then it shouldnt be that hard right? but i dunno what would become of our friendship after they find out.

this summer i learned that not everybody is not perfect. but im totally fine with that because i see that some people who i thought would not understand may actually feel what im feeling sometimes.

i also learned that people who you think you are close with can turn out to be all fake when it comes to the friendship. times when i thought we were having fun this person was just doing it for something else.

also there are such things as oneway friendships where you might be like the tissue if you know what im saying.

but ive also found some people who i come to trust and who do not judge for what ive done in the past. they look past it all and help not fall back as i go into the future.

summer list still
-saturday- joan chillin?
-sunday- catherine y yoon :)
-monday-TBA
-tuesday- joan and yukari
-wednesday-NRB?!
-thursday-EARS?!
-friday-SHARON B
-saturday-TBD
-sunday- dunno

ohh myy goodness

not a good day of driving today crazy moments. so we finished eating at in n out and i was dropping off david cho. so i made a left turn to get out of the plaza and i started going straight towards sepulveda. on the way there i didnt see this one red light and i was bout to go right passd it when David yelled to me its a red light and i just step on the breaks and burn some of the rubber off on my tire it was pretty crazy. and after dropping off david we were heading to my house and i almost ran over a cat. not good at allllll

TOMOROW- going to shawns house with Angela and maybe Diana.
Wednesday- Chilling with my Jakyo after registration

gon be SICKKK SON