relapse

hahaha

i want some in my system

geeeeez

short weeks of school always seem so longggggggggggg

alot of stuff happened

thank you God even though it took a longggggggggggggggggg time to realize what i was doing and how stupid i was being. its goes back so long agoo to those purity prayers we did on friday service when i was all for it to focus on God then she came along and tat just all went away. if i look back on it boy was i stupid ditching God for HER?! WAT THE EFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

so many things were shot at me. wilsons purity sermon, kevins purty prayer time again, six flags the true love waits rally, and the sermon the next day, so many things. even little things like in tv shows when the couple breaks up all those things were shot at me but i just avoided it and it was wednesday when it hit me. frikkin girls the biggest trap when it comes to trying to get close to God.

not such a great week. schools been rough, that bs between that beezy, my parents, some other stuff, and i just found out my grandma went to the emergency room and isnt doin well

pray for her please
atleast her forget all my little crap

thanks

Singing to Valentines Day banquets at Six Flags while gettng stomped on but still chill

six flags was sick.
Valentines day banquet was sickkk
sundays sermon was sickkkkk
true love waits rally was sickkkk
getting stomped in 2k not so sickkkk
getting stomped on fo real not so sickkk

4-2 i win still

friday-after school got my xbox back we played lips the whole time.ohhh myyy frikkin Jinju is soooo goooooooood at it i shouldnt be suprised though only way i can beat her in Lips is the game we;re playing the only way i can beat her in it by playing a manly song . after our sing a thon. i went to a valentines day banquet at Ericas church and it was realllllllll nice. super cute with the whole girls serving everyone and escorting the guys to the tables haha. and my waitress was the best and the prettiest duhhh even though she dropped food on peter, gave him a used fork, and was gone most of the time. hahaha. there youth ministry definately had alot of love for each other which made it real nice with all the good vibrations. and the lil wonder girls dance was cute too hahaha. after i got home we Gunbounded it up fasho haha i was rockin itt
fun fun fun





saturday on valentines day went to six flags for the True Love Waits rally which was sickkk. i drove to church and went 75 on local cuz im speed racer and im cool. haha sikee i went 75 and my mom started to FREAK OUT so for her own safety i went 35 the whole time turtle status? right. on the trip to six flags i actually had a real big fear of roller coaster. big big big big. and i tried to cover it up haha. we rodee the pbc van and it was uncomfortableeeeeeeee stuffing me buck justin and ub in the back ughhhh. soon as we got there we had two hours to ride rides before the rally and during the span we rode one ride -_-. but i thought we rode the best ride. X2 it was titeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. laying down and spinning around around around around haha. Golieath was fun too specially in the front seat with jaemoMoney screaming our buts off hahaha. too me tatsu was a big bust. and the corn was bombbbbbbbbbbbbbbb. and teh funnel cake dang. do not eat three of those or youll not feel happy for a while. bus ride was comfortable food coma haha. played 2k in it lost oee won one.





Sunday- Went to church and the sermon was by guest speaker pastor lance. about love.i really liked it all about how the greatest commandment that God gave us is to love with him with all our soul, heart, and mind. and we tend to love others stuff or people more than him or as the same as him. after church went yellow basket rolled with the classics and then chilled with Jeanne and PBC basketball game where we got rocked pretty bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. after that 2k 2k 2k won twice both by twenty. watched game tape at my house with Jimmy Hyung, kris , and jae. funny stuf that is.



today was just relaxing and just do nothing but sleep.woke up eight chatted with jimmy hyung. played some gunbound with justing and then jae and him came over. i got rocked by jae in 2k then i beat justin. after SLEPT then drove around cuz i can :) didnt go 75 though cuz safety comes first.



weekends are nice expecially if there three days.
too bad theres not one this week.
i need a hair cut for real.




MORE FUN THAN GOING TO SOME Y&G JUNK
YA DIGG? :D
politicall shieet who cares

weekends

the past few weekends have been pretty sickkkk.

the weekend after finals was fun. this weekend was fun. and next weekend is gonna be tite too i can tell.

last weekend was the weekend after finals and finals week was pretty relaxing for me cuz all of grades were basically set in my classes if i did bad or good in the final my grade would still be the same so i really didnt stress about anything. so i just chiled alotttt. last day of finals on thursday i left school early with big ben and we got a burrito at steves and watched tv. then i got a new ipod 120 gig for free as a replacement cuz of 30 gig was completely dead forever. then played ball at lago after. friday i dont really remember i think it was like monkey ball and stuff like that and  then GCC and i got hawaiin delite yogurt which is better than pomgrenate pinkberry. saturday basketball again :). sunday was the superbowl party at my house and the game was better than i thought it would bee dayummm Fitzgerald.

this weekend friday was birthdaty dinner for me and kev. it was quite fun then i just knocked out after and watched pineapple express. saturday was another bday dinner with my family tats it. and sunday church:) wilsons sermon really got to me. ball game after we lost by five cuz i wasnt on the floor. then today was tite i went to shobes house and we sang our butts of playing LIPS.

next weekend ALLSTAR WEEKEND

rookies vs. sophmore

unfortunately im gonna miss saturdays dunk contest skills and 3point because im goin to SIX FLAGS  wiht church. even though im scared of rollercoasters. and sunday all star game

money no school :D

PEACE 

"Im a Failure"- haters

everyone has those kinds of weeks when everything just seems to suck. well this week was one of those kinds of weeks. since im a junior and next year is all about getting into college my parents are stressing more than i am. im honestly trying to  relax and get what i have to get done for school right now done so that i dont get behind. everyone been getting on my case. 

alot of people have been telling me:

"alex your not gonna make it into a good school"

"can you use your brain"

"i dont think you should do this class your just gonna fail"

"even if you do it your not gonna go anywhere with it"

"hahaha your taking that  (whatever class im taking) YOU?!"

"did you do your hw? dont answer i already know"

"i dont think Alex should continue on with the class hes not goin to be able to keep up"

it goes on and on and on and on

from my friends saying it in a joking way not knowing how much it effects me, teachers saying it behind my back, tutors saying it to my face, and sometimes my parents.

at first i didnt think any of it but now it just pisses me off and ive been getting alot tat SHIT this week. and i almst lost it went insane. and to make this week even better while driving i hit something and it really pissed me off that i did such a dumb thing so i tried covering it up by joking around that i did. and my knee is starting to hurt alot more sometimes its just hard to walk nowadays. i also decided that i shouldnt really get close close close with a girl that it might grow into something but as soon as i decided she came onto me stronger and me being that kind of guy got blinded by her and fell into it. and of course all this talk about how im a failure.

and i did accept the fact this week. im a failure, im not got get in anywhere good like some of the smart people at school. so i decided wats the point DGAF right? yupp thats wat i decided to do. i screwed up so much in the past that i can get out of this hole i fell into.

accepting that made me crazy this week. i would go to school be just fine cuz i didnt want it to seem like "oh hes doin all that so people will ask him whats wrong when its really nothing" so im just fine after school im just fine. when i get home to my family im just fine. when i go to my room im a wreck. cuz i dont know to me its tiring being "just fine" on AIM i would be just fine. i was a wreck punching the walls in the shower. sitting in the dark.

i was sitting in the dark thursday around one AM. and i did something i havent done alot that week. i prayed and i prayed and i prayed and i prayed. and it felt good.

i shouldnt let these people bring me down but instead let them motivate me into doing better. Joan actually told me this but i didnt want to beleive it. but after praying it just got me to beleive it. 

all those people telling me i cant do it and i cant make it anywhere i just want to thank all you FRIKKIN JERKS cuz thanks to you imma go out and make it.

"bit**** hating again thats music to my ears.

  what you think my fuel was for all of these years"

                          

                                          -Kanye West(when he rapped not sang)

lets go